Thursday, December 08, 2005
"Why not?" was the simple reply of the honorable Mr. John-D Borra to the question, “Why read?” This was also the title of his magisterial talk yesterday (one of the things that have made me even more confused... we'll get to why soon enough). We had to attend this in exchange for one of our Lit classes. And I'm glad they required us to go.
It is no doubt that Sir Borra is one helluva speaker. One would not only enjoy his lectures, but you will also appreciate them. He will catch your attention, however reluctant you may be. And despite knowing all this, I was still impressed after attending my first "Borra talk". "Why?" you may ask. Well, things mentioned in his talk about UA&P's liberal education have been added to my list of "Why to stay in UA&P".
Yup, he's that good.
Most people know that I have applied to transfer to ADMU. I used to be so sure about this decision, but now, things have split into two. I'm not lying when I tell people that I am a very confused girl. I think my brain is in major chaos right now. Overly dramatic, i suppose, but then again, maybe not. Wanting to accomplish so many things is a daunting task. One day you'll just find yourself thinking, "What the hell do I really want to do?" You try to look for the answer but it never rings your brain and says, "Ding! This is what you want to do for the rest of your life!" I am grateful that I'm growing closer, even for just a tiny bit, to the answer. I think I have a faint idea of what it is I want to do for the rest of my life, but that's it - it's just faint. I envy the people who have names for the jobs that they want to get into after graduating. They know exactly what to take and are having the time of their lives because they're happy. I, on the other hand, have mush for ideas.
Let me cite the things that have made my brain into one extreme halo-halo.
I was once asked the question, "If there was one word to describe you, what would that be?" The person who asked me that question also answered it since I had a hard time looking for just one word. After telling him my interests, he quickly and unflinchingly answered me surely, "I think the word you're looking for is eclectic." Ding, ding, ding!!! Finally!
Yes, I am proud to say that I am eclectic. Everything about me is eclectic. I am artistic and yet technologically curious. My outfit personality is girly rocker. I have no music discrimination (well, except of course novelty and heavy metal). I am quite the pig (yes, I love to eat), but I love to dance. I can be messy at one time, and organized the next. I am a strange mix. No wonder I had such a hard time looking for just one word. And because I am eclectic, "singular" is not in my dictionary. I have the hardest time deciding on just one thing.
Take for example the time I was choosing the course I would take. There are, of course, two things you should consider when choosing what you want to take-up as a major. One, you have to pick the course that you’re sure your tuition will be paid for (a.k.a. something your parents would approve of). Two, it has to be something you really, really want to take-up. These two factors, my friends, have made my life more chaotic. You see, having parents that care for you so much and want you to have a stable future eliminates the idea of taking Fine Arts as a course (or anything related to arts for that matter). Several nights I would just think about what to take, using a pencil to mark all possible courses and then eliminating the ones that wouldn’t have either one of the considerations mentioned above. After much negotiation, let’s fast forward to the future. Here I am taking-up a course that has passed the test, studying in a university I never thought I would be studying in. (Sacrifices have to made… hence my farewell to the Green Archer.)
And now, I am faced with the same daunting task once more.
Should I move or not?
If I should move, what course must I choose?
The one that will get me into the university the easiest or the one that will pass the test?
So many things to consider, so little brain power.
To the big man upstairs: help me!